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Essays
My Father's Death Pushy, Pushy I Hate My Job Off to America: The Last Supper Photographs
Nicola & Emma, 2004 New Car Snow in Forest Hills Undressing the Empress: Photos San Francisco's Farmer's Market Web stuff
bearpeak.org Random Stuff
LYD's Ernie |
Pushy, Pushy
Kevin surveyed the land about him. High above the river, Navajo Bridge spanned the steep, red walls of Marble Canyon. Kevin was seated on a makeshift ledge at the center of the bridge, jutting out two feet from the railing and watching the sun begin its daily sojourn over the valley. He steadied himself and inhaled deeply.
"I love an early morning sunrise," he said. A breeze passed through the canyon and ruffled his graying curls. Kevin shifted slightly, his gaze unbroken. "I really love an early morning sunrise." Kevin wasn't the type of man to take risks. He had spent his entire life going to safe vacations and safe places, eating safe food and doing safe things. "And where did those years go?" he said. "Where the hell did they go?" "Try not to think about it, darling." A hand rested on his shoulder and he grabbed the base of the ledge, startled. "Sheesh, I'd almost forgotten you were there," he said, his hands gripping tightly. His body swayed and the hand on his shoulder steadied him. "Fuck, that was close. I'm not tethered you know. I could have fallen." "Don't worry, darling. I know what I'm doing. I'm an expert, remember?" Kevin turned around and stared into the eyes of the young woman standing behind him. He relaxed his grip. "Oh, sorry. I shouldn't have. It's just that..." "Don't worry about it. I know. Now put your hands where they were and relax." Kevin turned back to face the canyon, slowly releasing his grip and placing his hands on his lap. Catherine's voice had soothed him once more, and he resumed his pensive gaze. "Just twenty more minutes and we'll be done. It'll be over soon, I promise you." Kevin began to relax. He smiled. Here he was, Kevin Brooker, teetering off the edge of the Grand Canyon without a fucking safety harness. How's that for risky? Yeah. "Know how far?" Catherine said. Kevin peered down at the rushing waters and felt his body tense. The current was unseasonably strong. "Almost five hundred feet. What would Susan say to me if you fell and were swept away?" Kevin felt uneasy and closed his eyes. "Fuck her," he muttered. "She's asleep in the hotel. She'd be glad. Fucking bitch." "But she's your wife, darling." Kevin turned around and looked at Catherine. "On paper, maybe. But you're a much better fuck." "You think she knows?" "She thinks you're here to help with my acrophobia." "That's what we're doing now. But do you think she knows?" "And what if she does? That bitch. I don't give." "On your twentieth anniversary, darling?" "Sure. Whatever." Two minutes later, but what to him seemed like hours, Kevin opened his eyes. He looked down at the waters racing far beneath him and took a deep breath, trying to control the rising unease in his stomach as he thought of what Catherine had said. What if he fell off the ledge? He turned around. Catherine had gone back to the car. Suddenly he sat up and grabbed the edge of the platform. "Nah," he said. And he tried to relax again. But his heart raced. "Yeah," he whispered. "Maybe." The second cool wind of the morning blew gently over the bridge and ruffled his hair. Kevin tried to ignore the shiver that traveled his spine. Yeah, he thought. The perfect crime. His heart raced. But just one little detail. Kevin tightened his grip. "One little detail," he said. "How do I convince her?" "Convince who, darling?" Kevin bolted upright. "Uh, oh, nothing," he said. "Come on now. What little detail?" "Nothing," he repeated. "And don't sneak up on me like that. I'll fall." "Well, okay." "Well, okay. Yes, okay. Dammit." "Okay, I want you to relax now. This will help. Here, put your hands on your lap." Kevin suddenly realized how tightly he was gripping the ledge. He put his hands on his lap and breathed deeply. "Now close your eyes," she said. Kevin closed his eyes. "Um-hmm." "I'm going to rock you gently." "Um-hmm." Kevin felt Catherine's tiny hands around his shoulders. They were strong, and he felt the tension ease as her hands massaged his shoulders, rocking him gently back and forth. "You know what?" he said. "Yes, darling?" "How would you like to make fifty grand?" "Fifty?" "Fifty." Kevin felt the pair of hands hesitate. "Fifty big ones." "What do I do to make fifty big ones?" "We're going to kill the bitch." "Oh, that's a good one." The hands resumed their slow rocking motion. "I mean it." "Yes, darling. Tell me how." "We'll bring her here tomorrow morning, you and me." "Mm-hmm." "You'll set her up on this ledge, just like this." "Okay." "You'll show her what we did today. You know, rocking me like this." "Right." "And then..." "And then?" "And then you push." "I push." "You push." Kevin began to relax. Catherine seemed surprisingly calm. "It's perfect. We'll say it was a bungee accident. People jump here all the time. No one can ever tie it back to me. No one." "Is that what your little detail was, darling? To convince me?" "Uhm, yes." "Fifty grand. Well, like you said, it sounds perfect." "Yes, perfect." A broad smile played across Kevin's lips. Catherine kept rocking. "But there's one problem." "Oh?" "These things usually go for two hundred grand, darling." "Two hundred grand? I don't have that much money. And how would you know?" He laughed. "I heard the other day, darling." "What do you mean you heard the other day?" "A girl hears these things, you know. You'd be surprised to know how many people ask me to do things all the time." Kevin laughed. "Really? Damn. I thought I had the Perfect Plan. Who would pay that much? What sick bastard could come up with this idea, my Perfect Crime? Tell me. A drug dealer? Mafia kingpin?" The rocking stopped. "No darling," she said, "your wife." And she pushed. |
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